Most of you ladies reading this have had the pleasure of having a girls day and/or a day of pampering at a nail salon. It is no secret that most of the people that run/work in nail salons are foreign-which is great. At times, the employees can be a little difficult to understand, as am I sometimes. My hillbilly accent can be tough to decipher if you’re not from Ellerbe, NC. Ava & I enjoyed a girls day out about a month ago. I felt we both deserved it. She works hard for a 13 year old, she inherited an assumed position as an ice cream scooper inside the world’s largest strawberry-one of the kickbacks or drawbacks (depends on the day of the week you ask her) of having your parents own a business. Ava gets scheduled in like all of our other employees. During our girls day, we entered the nail spa for a posh treatment on our little piggies. Upon entering, a woman wearing a mask asks what service we wanted, I replied a pedicure for both. She then said (what I thought) “you like pedicure or chair nail”. My logic is she thinks a pedicure is just painting your toenails, a chair nail is the whole experience with the massage & all. Of course I replied, “chair nail”. She then instructed me to go pick out “gel nail”. The technician was saying gel nail all along, I was the big dummy thinking it was “chair nail”. Ava thought I was the most mortifying mother in the world at that moment, she is 13 after all! Regrettably, I went along with the “chair nail” & we still have the mess on our toes that is impossible to remove at home unless you soak your toes in pure Clorox & use a power sanding tool afterwards. The “chair nail” cost the same as a standard pedicure plus an additional $15-what a rip off. Nail salons are not for me. I’m better off trimming my hooves & painting my toenails on our deck with Walmart polish. I told Lee I needed to go back to the salon to get the gel polish taken off, he replied & was dead serious about it, “can’t you soak your toes in gasoline?” I’ll pass on that relaxing sounding soak!
Recently, I’ve had trouble sleeping. I toss & turn all night & morning, waking multiple times. I remember a time in my life when I closed my eyes, I would stay asleep for at least 8 hours. I’m not sure if it’s because I am getting older & approaching the dreaded phase women face or if it’s because of the terrible dreams I’ve been having, perhaps both. My dreams have always been bizarre even as a child, I have even had some intuitive dreams where some of them have come true. One of my most recent bizarre dreams that have awakened me involved Coleman. I dreamt Lee & I went to pick him up from his internship in Minnesota. Coleman’s hair was absolutely tremendous, think the size of your arms making a circle. In his hair were gnats & tumors growing on the outside of his head. I’m sure he is happy to hear I’m sharing such foolishness here. This was just to explain the crazy dreams that fill my head at night. I think about that dream everyday since-it was beyond disturbing. Nearly every single night for the last few months, I have had extremely real-seeming dreams about Jack. Jack drowning, Jack having a really bad seizure, Jack becoming violent. When these dreams wake me, I am awake for the rest of the night or morning most of the time. The dreams are so life-like because they could very likely be real life in an instant & it makes me wonder if these are intuitive dreams. Maybe I should help Dionne Warwick re-start her career & get her run a 900 psychic line for me!
It’s moments like “chair nail” that make me thankful for the crazy, funny moments that seem to often occur in my life. Thinking about these things through the day make me giggle & giggle I need to do. Maybe this is why God places weirdos in my path so that I can sit back & remember the oddities that I’ve encountered & have a good laugh. On any given night, I can be found lying in bed & thinking of something funny & in hysterics. Just ask Lee, he hates it when I do this because he is asleep after all. Any way, here’s to hoping I can get the “chair nail” aka gel nail off my toes next week & to sweet dreams! In the meanwhile, I’ll be continued to be worried to death by Jack with his upcoming birthday this Friday. He called & ordered his own cake from Food Lion today after he told me to order a cake from the lady that usually makes the kids birthday cakes. He’s been waking early anticipating his big 18, calling people to remind him of his birthday, planning his Chuck E Cheese trip-every parents hell. The day that we have dreaded for years is nearly here. And who out there remembers this “Jem” (pun intended) from the 80’s, https://youtu.be/UtNPFSz9-5c? Now I watched this growing up, but I just now realized how stupid it really is! Although I’m grateful Jack is watching this instead of foolery, the bad part is he plays the theme song over & over again, I’m talking a hundred times or more! This could be one of the many reasons I’m not getting much sleep, this song is stuck in my head day & night.
Thank you all for reading my blogs, for your encouragement, kind words, & prayers, they mean the world to us all.
Cruel & Unusual Circumstances 
As always, your truthfulness hits home. Will be keeping all of you in thoughts as #18 rolls in…..mixed feelings, I remember all too well…..Happy Birthday Jack, you hit the “jackpot” with your Parents and family…and maybe in your own way…you do know this….
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