I am willing to bet a lot of you that follow my blogs think how on earth could I have anything left to write about & probably wonder why I write such things. I have found it fun to write about our lives & so many people ask about Jack & it’s not so easy to explain in a few sentences. Since I’ve already titled one blog “Hurricane Jack”, this one is still in the same realm of hurricanes, mainly the destruction. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, you are so very fortunate if your mornings start off by spilling your cereal, oversleeping, or starting off your morning without a cup of joe. I wish our morning problems were these troubles instead of the horror (I mainly, some we) are forced to deal with every single morning. Those problems when they occur I know aren’t simple but comparatively they are. The shenanigans Jack pulls on a daily basis is really hard to fathom. He can take something so simple & dissect it quicker than a viper. I’ve always compared him to a viper. When he gets violent, he strikes out of nowhere & swiftly, when talks, he speed-talks, when he walks, he runs. My aunt Sue had a perfect name for the kids when they were trying to show her how to operate an electronic, she’d say, “alright Fasty”! All this is done out of need for him to be the first heard, the loudest, the center of attention, the most annoying, & aggravating. People ask me all the time how Jack is doing. Health-wise, he’s amazing, behavior-wise, he is the most aggravating, annoying human on earth. I really can not imagine another person on this planet being as complex, irritating, & exasperating as he.
I’m going to tell you a little about the two days the past week with Jack. He is currently in a bad sleep cycle, meaning he’s not going to sleep until 2-2:30am every night, sometimes 4am, but wake up time for him is 11am or later. After watching tv for 30 minutes, he’s off & running, faster than the Roadrunner being chased by the Coyote! Someone gave him a Sonic card, a simple, reasonable for Jack. Here lies the problem, nothing is ever simple for Jack. He wouldn’t dare put that card in his wallet & say the next time we are in town, let’s swing by Sonic. Instead, he downloaded the Sonic app, placed an order via the app, & wanted me to go pick up the large sweet tea no ice before I went to The Berry Patch. Now for those of you that don’t know our region, Sonic is 15 minutes from our house. After I explained that I couldn’t go to Sonic before work for a tea, he wanted me to go while Ava was at dance that evening (Thursday night, my most dreaded night of the week). He then wanted to know what time dance was, I knew that if I told him the time, I would be on a time-frame to pickup his meal from them. When I told him I didn’t know, he demanded to know the name of Ava’s dance teacher. With quick thinking (Amy Quick, no pun intended), I made up a name of Betty Boules. Why make up a name you ask? Well, because he went on Facebook, typed in this name & was going to ask her about dance times. Thankfully, there was no one on Facebook with that name! Once 6:30pm rolled around, Jack called me while I was in town & said I had 3 minutes to get to Sonic to get his order. Since I have the word “Uber” tattooed on my body, I went to pick up that blooming large sweet tea no ice for him that he paid for with his gift card however, I had to pay for his two double cheeseburgers & tater tots. I only have $8.56 to go on this card. Lord help me Jesus, how many sweet teas with that buy! While I was picking up his order, the manager came to the window & asked if Jack had placed an order the previous day, not knowing anything about it, I just said probably. She said he called her & wanted a refund because he placed an order & couldn’t come pick it up. Do y’all see the intelligence? If he were not mentally & physically handicapped, this child would be running the world!
On Friday, Jack started with a different kind of chaos. His first 30 minutes of being awake were pretty chill, but when I went outside on the deck to try to read before his sitter got there, all hell broke loose. As I was sitting on the deck, he joins me & has to sit directly on top of me, digging his feet in me, etc. After spotting a hammer left on the deck, he started banging & banging the deck. I was reminded of the song “If I had a Hammer”. I always liked that song, I didn’t think then was a good time to introduce that song to Jack. He may of taken the lyrics too literally. I walked back into the house because I knew he would not stop by me asking, Jack only stops doing something when he wants to. No amount of reasoning works with this child. Once he got bored with the hammer, he flew back inside Roadrunner style with the mop that was left to dry on the deck. He soaks it in water, makes a trail through the house knocking down several things during his cleaning escapade, & finds another task.
Everything out of the ordinary has to be put up in our house & adjustments have to made. It is a lot like preparing your home for a crawling/walking toddler, except this is a 17 year old. I normally keep the tape dispenser in a drawer, but if got left out & Jack was walking by, there would be no more tape left. We’ve had to start giving him paper plates & plastic spoons which I despise because I am a part-time environmentalist 🤣🌲. The reason for this is because he has started banging on the china with the metal utensils & the end result is broken dishes. Now, the mop is going to have to find a new place to dry.
Back to my Friday tale, Jack often calls our local library here in Ellerbe in search of books. Now one would think this was a positive thing, it’s not. He’s so obsessive about calling, worries our poor librarian to death inquiring about books on Australian language, British wars, dinosaurs, Native Americans, the list goes on & on. Many times, they can accommodate his requests, but others they don’t have the material. When I go get the books that our most kind & gracious librarian saves for him, they lie in his room untouched for the duration of checkout, never once cracking them open. It is this way every single time. This is just something else this child to worries with. The poor thing doesn’t ever have any peace in his mind. A thread on a pair of pants will quickly become a hole the size of a fist, a picture being crooked will drive him crazy until it’s fixed, a dead battery in a toy he hasn’t played with in three years deserves the utmost attention, a piece of torn cuticle becomes a bleeding frenzy in a matter of minutes & this is everyday. Everyday his brain is churning around & around in circles 24/7. It does not turn off, not even when he’s sleeping. During sleep he’s talking constantly. I value my time so much right before bed (when Jack is asleep that is). It gives me time to sit in silence & focus on a book or magazine without any noise, well, other than Lee snoring that is. When Jack is up, there is always a path of destruction. Whether the path is destructed physically by him tearing something up, knocking something over, and/or playing & singing music to the top of his lungs at all hours of the night, calling people repeatedly, interrogating me about what year he started watching the Wiggles or who Steve Irwin’s wife was, or invading our family time, the path is an evil one, much like the paths a hurricane takes. The things that go on here in our house are unreal. I’ve said it before, but Adam Sandler needs to be the star of our reality movie, I’m thinking Julie Bowen would be a good fit for me! Now do you see why I compare Jack to the famous children’s book, “If you give a Pig a Pancake”? If you give Jack an iPad might be the title of my children’s book!
One of the highlights of my Jack tales is when I told Ava to go get Jack’s mouse for his computer, she comes back with this:
Now, it’s a mouse no doubt, but it can’t operate a computer! I’ve got to keep laughing & finding ways to laugh or this path is going to harden me terribly more. The best advice I can give anyone that is struggling with a difficult moment in his or her life or dealing with depression, is to find ways to make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine!